Once upon a time, I was a mess…
My name is Celine Harleaux, and I have suffered from chronic, cystic acne AND anxiety during 4 long, looong years of my life.
If you suffer, or have ever suffered from acne, you know that one single day can feel like 10 years.
I tried anything that promised me relief. Name it! I’ve tried it.
And each miracle solution left me with more pimples. More scars. And no self-esteem.
That’s when the Universe chose to introduce me to the man who is today my husband. Back then, I was craving love and intimacy in my life. And when we started dating, I wanted to build a relationship based on honesty and respect with him.
But boy was I ashamed, embarrassed, mortified. Everytime he so much as touched my face, I would freeze. Literally.
Hell, whenever he said the words ‘skin’ or ‘body’, I was terrified that he was going to make a comment about what was happening to my face.
Or worse, that he would say, bluntly, that I should do something about it. That I should be ashamed of my disgusting, inflamed face.
So I did what anyone would logically do in that kind of situation. I protected myself, and built walls to prevent him from getting close to me. I made excuses, and hid what I was really feeling about him.
AND I put layers and layers AND LAYERS of makeup to keep him from seeing who I really was.
Because, deep in my heart, I knew (or thought I knew) that he would be utterly disgusted if he knew the truth. Acne was a friggin’ deal-breaker.
In other words, I was a mess.
How Reiki became a significant ally in my healing journey
One day, I came across Reiki through an article posted on Tracy Raftl’s The Love Vitamin. Tracy had healed most of her cystic acne, and knew she was healing. Still, she freaked out every time a pimple popped on her face. After a few Reiki sessions, Tracy says, her anxiety was… gone.
So when a friend suggested that I tag along to a Reiki 1 course he was taking, I said: “FUDGE YES!”.
Did Reiki blow my mind?
No. It did not.
Now that I think about it, it was probably because I demanded an instant, complete healing:
Me: “No pimples, no scars, and I can eat whatever I want”.
“Thanks in advance”.
Universe: *laughs hysterically until it gets a cramp*
Me: “WILL YOU DO AS I SAY? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING FOR ME, NOT AGAINST ME! ARE YOU EVEN QUALIFIED TO DO YOUR JOB?!”
The Universe was working for me. It regularly gave me tiny nudges in the right direction. Whenever I was ready for the next step.
And so, I slowly ditched processed sugars and processed anything out of my diet.
I introduced meditation and self-care in my morning routine.
I Reiki-ed myself regularly (mostly because I was still hoping that the Universe would change its mind, and grant me perfect skin overnight).
It was Reiki that gave me the strength to change my diet. To…
… Stop feeling hopeless whenever I felt a pimple coming out, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
… Say “I love you” to myself.
… Open up about what I was going through with my family, and later with hubby.
One day, I realised that I wasn’t afraid anymore. That day, I said my automatic mantra: “I love myself just as I am today”. I actually meant it.
Clear skin is a journey
Clear skin is a journey. Often, it is bloody long and difficult. But as I reached its end, I realised that it has been a necessary experience in my life.
I have no doubt that I could have healed overnight;
but if I had, I wouldn’t have learned that much about myself, nutrition, self-care and self-love.
I would have learned that I can treat my body like crap, and I can get away with it.
I wouldn’t go through acne again (I’m not crazy), but I’m grateful that it happened. It sounds crazy. But without it, I wouldn’t have received the gift of Reiki.
Wherever you are in your journey, know that you are going through a process. It will have an end. All will be well.
One of the Reiki Precepts (Gokai) is: “Gyo Wo Hageme”, or ‘work diligently’, ‘devote yourself to your work’, ‘do your work honestly’. There are many translations, but they all come down to one thing: we need to do the work. (Click here for to listen to all Reiki Precepts!).
If (when) instant healing is granted, we would be (often are) left with perfect skin, as well as our old habits.
It takes strength and courage to change. And bloody determination.
Do what you need to do to feel better, it is worth it. I trust that you already know your next step. If you don’t, I trust that it will be given to you soon. All will be well.
And as for the emotional side of the acne battle, Reiki can help. I can help.
— I wish you all the very best.
P.S: Ever feel like you want to shed your skin like a stinky old suit, go to the shop, and get a new one? How do you deal with those emotions? Share your tips and tricks!
P.S.S: Rich, I’m so grateful that you stuck around. Thank you for giving me the space that I needed when I was hurting and healing at the same time.